Soo Jin Lee
A loss, in any situation, is a difficult emotion to understand and process. Loss can take on a whole new level of pain when it is associated with our loved ones including our partner, child, parents, and siblings. One might experience a deep sense of sorrow, emptiness, depression, disbelief, and confusion while grieving their loved ones. Grief is a journey to restore hope and cope with your pains.
Our human nature calls us to gather and attach to each other for survival. We’ve long evolved to attach ourselves more deeply to our social surroundings, rather than survive alone. Perhaps, the severe pain of grief is explained by the significant loss of our existential need for one another.
Grief is a very normal response to a loss. There is no correct timeline or structure for it. It is an individual experience in which you learn to cope and find new meaning in the loss, and life thereafter. The experiences, circumstances, situations, as well as support systems, can impact the grieving process over your loved ones.
If you are having a hard time carrying out your daily activities due to overwhelming feelings of sadness and sorrow, consider these tips to help you cope with your day.
- Recognize when you are judging yourself
There are so many emotions you will be experiencing each day. One thing to always remember is, It is not your fault. If you find yourself, stating, ‘If only I had…’, you are entering into a rabbit- hole spiral of guilt and shame. Recognizing that this is happening is the first step towards avoiding the sense of guilt and self-blame. Death comes in many different ways, so allow yourself to mourn the loss, be angry, and cry it out, but catch your thoughts when you begin to judge yourself.
- Maintain your daily routine
It’s never easy to try to go on with your life with the absence of your loved one, however, it is important to find your sense of control and grounding through your daily routines. Try your best to wake up when you used to, maintain your daily tasks, and work towards filling those gaps routinely through self-care. Take things one thing at a time, and one day at a time.
- Celebrating the life of your loved ones
You might never be able to feel like you can ‘move on’ with your life as you used to, but you can learn to live with the absence. Find ways to celebrate your loved one. Their bodies have left, but their rituals, love, and presence in your life can still be remembered, enjoyed, and shared. Talk about their favorite foods, jokes, bad habits, and ways in which they were part of your life with the people around you. Their legacy can still go on through your life.
- Take a break and ask for help
It’s okay to take a break from all the grief and sadness. It’s a very overwhelming time for you to juggle all the roles you must take on. Try to engage in small activities you used to enjoy, such as cooking, crafting, gardening, or biking. Whatever it is, figure out who can help you to unload and participate in these activities. Different people can help in different ways, if someone offers to bring you food, allow them to and if you need emotional support, let them know.
At 7Chairs, we understand that the depth of your pain can only be understood by those who have experienced it. You are not alone!
Join us today to restore hope in your life with a supportive community.